Why men should fear women's dreams

From TNP, 14 April 2007
by Adam Hashidy

Why men should fear women's dreams

Is it so difficult to differentiate between realty and la la land? I don't think so.

The former is when you hurl obscenities that will make an Ah Beng blush when you are pinched.

The latter happens when you are in bed and wake up only to face drool at the side of the pillow.

Well, you will be amazed. It seems that women have a hard time telling the difference between the two.

A lady friend confessed how she ignored her husband for a week when she dreamt he was having an affair.

Her rationale was that it seemed real and she could not help but feel angry and hurt even though she knows that it all happened in her subconscious.

Thinking that this may just be a one-off case, I did a check with my large group of female friends.

After several phone calls and a dozen instant messages conducted when my boss was not looking, I am proud to reveal my findings.

Apparently, such a reaction is not uncommon and more surprisingly, several of them even confessed that they have given their other halves the cold shoulder for being with another woman in their dreams.

Gasp.

As it is, it is already difficult trying to second-guess and manage women on a day to day basis.

but if men are also to be penalised for something that happens in the subconscious, I say we are done. for.

Imagine being greeted in the morning by a delusional wife or girlfriend who dreamt you lost her pearl earrings.

Or worse, being awoken by a tight slap across the face and then accused of sleeping with Angelina Jolie or Scarlett Johansson.

That will be bizzare.

The bottom line is that she is insecure.

A learned male friend was more direct. He said" "Madness. She must be a psycho."

No matter.

One thing that they all agreed on is that when confronted with such an incident, the guy should just do nothing about it and let it blow over as usually,t eh lady with the wild imagination will come to her senses.

After all, it is just a dream.

The same learned male friend, who is an Arsenal supporter, added sarcastically: "I dreamt Wayne Rooney broke his leg. But when I woke up to news of Manchester United winning 7-1 against Roma (in the Champions League), I don't blame my dream."

Agreed.

But if you are a woman ...

Are women as psycho as he said?
Are there really women out there who blame their spouse/partner for things they did in her dream?

I certainly don't.

gsp sing song 2007

I am sitting here watching this and wondering will our fire fighter ever be so .... what's the word? LOL

Good Intentions are Not Enough

Falling in love is always magical. It feels eternal, as if love will last forever. We naively believe that somehow we are exempt from the problems our parents had, free from the odds that love will die, assured that it is meant to be and that we are destined to live happily ever after.

But as the magic recedes and daily life takes over, it emerges that men continue to expect women to think and react like men, and women expect men to feel and behave like women. Without a clear awareness of our differences, we do not take the time to understand and respect each other. We become demanding, resentful, judgemental, and intolerant.

With the best and most loving intentions love continues to die. Somehow the problems creep in. The resentments build. Communication breaks down. Mistrust increases. Rejection and repression result. The magic of love is lost.

We ask ourselves:
How does it happen?
Why does it happen?
Why does it happen to us?

To answer these questions our greatest minds have developed brilliant and complex philosophical and psychological models. Yet still the old patterns return. Love dies. It happens to almost everyone.

Each day millions of individuals are searching for a partner to experience that special loving feeling. Each year, millions of couples join together in love and then painfully separate because they have lost that loving feeling. From those who are able to sustain love long enough to get married, only 50% stay married. Out of those who stay together, possibly another 50% are not fulfilled. They stay together out of loyalty and obligation or from the fear of starting over.

Very few people, indeed, are able to grow in love. Yet, it does happen. When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.

Through understanding the hidden differences of the opposite sex we can more successfully give and receive the love that is in our hearts. By validating and accepting our differences, creative solutions can be discovered whereby we can succeed in getting what we want. And, more important, we can learn how to best love and support the people we care about.

Love is magical, and it can last, if we remember our differences.

Source: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus - John Gray

This is a good reminder. We tend to forget why we married our spouse. We forgot when we decided to accept this other person into our life, we have also accept everything that comes with the spouse.

Love in Any Language - Sandi Patty

The first time I sing on stage is this song. Let's me share this with you.

Je t'aime
Te amo
Ya ti-bya lyu blyu
Ani o hev ot cha
I love you

The sounds are all as different
As the lands from which they came
And though the words are all unique
Our hearts are still the same

Love in any language
Straight from the heart
Pulls us all together
Never apart
And once we learn to speak it
All the world will hear
Love in any language
Fluently spoken here

We teach the young our differences
Yet look how we're the same
We love to laugh, to dream our dreams
We know the sting of pain

From Leningrad to Lexington
The farmer loves his land
And daddies all get misty-eyed
To give their daughter's hand

Oh maybe when we realize
How much there is to share
We'll find too much in common
To pretend it isn't there

Love in any language
Straight from the heart
Pulls us all together
Never apart
And once we learn to speak it
All the world will hear
Love in any language
Fluently spoken here

Tho' the rehtoric of government
May keep us worlds apart
There's no misinterpreting
The language of the heart

Love in any language
Straight from the heart
Pulls us all together
Never apart
And once we learn to speak it
All the world will hear
Love in any language
Fluently spoken here

Jesus Loves Me

I really didn't know you can sing this song like this. What will they do next. LOL.

This is is posted here for the little one.

You call this average?

A mother wrote this:

Being an average mother, I have average expectations for my kids:
1. Stay healthy
2. Try their best and constantly stretch themselves (not me stretching them)
3. Able to think for themselves intelligently and morally

For my ds, I hope he can get his basic degree and be his own boss. Have a successful business that he can comfortably employ all the top brains to work for him. Not forgetting a happy marriage and family.

For my dd, also expect a basic degree and marry a loving husband that can provide and allow her to make her own choices, e.g. to work or not.

To me, top academic results does not guarantee success in life. I would want them to appreciate life and live a colourful life happily.

You call this average? I really want to know what's high in her book. I call this a high order and if she voice this out regularly to her kids, I really pity them. The pressure to succeed. To stress not to fail. Gosh...

Why is it that one always measure a happy life with monetary value? As in having a successful business, marry a rich man. I am very sure she is not the only who has this mentality. Majority of the people equate a successful life to being rich.

Have they ever thought being rich means one has a status to upkeep, an image to uphold.
Do they know the commitment one has to put into a successful busines? Employing top brainer to work for you is not the deal. You have to be personally involved or else, these top brainer will run away with your successful business. And having a business that bring in the $$$ doesn't mean you sit in the office and wait for the $$$ to role in. You need to entertain, you need to socialize with so-and-so, to bring in more business to make more $$$.

The chinese has a saying: 儿孙之有儿孙副 .(I hope I remember this correctly)
Let them find their own destiny. Let them search for their own happiness.

To me, experience is everything. If you think they are heading in the wrong direction, give them a few pointers, let them decide. Don't put pressure on them. They have enough pressure and stress from school.

Don't be an ugly customer - Serve Us Right

This letter is published in TODAYtoday.

Don't be an ugly customer

Serve Us Right

Liang Dingzi

I cannot remember when Singapore launched its que-ueing campaign, but I recall the personal pride of aspiring to be counted as one of the world's more progressive nations.

It suffices to say it was a long time ago. So, by now, one would expect standing in line and waiting your turn to be a Singaporean habit.

But not, it seems, according to some people.

Today reader Evelyn Tan was appalled to find a young woman jumping ahead of her to board a taxi, although she had been waiting there first. In the midst of the dispute, the taxi driver — perhaps wisely — moved ahead to pick someone else ("Of cabs and graciousness", April 2).

Unfortunately for Ms Tan, there was no formal queue and they all stood along an open road.

In some countries, even without signs or guide rails, a queue is formed naturally or, in the absence of it, there is tacit understanding that whoever comes first gets served first. That surely must be the lesson any successful queueing campaign should have left us with.

I had a similar experience, even though I was waiting in line at a taxi-stand on busy Shenton Way. After a long wait, a vacant cab finally whizzed into the bay. A couple outside the queue made a quick dash and boarded it. Everyone stared in disbelief and disgust.

Although I was not next in line, I accosted the cab driver to inform him that it would not be fair if he allowed the "invaders" to remain on board. He said it was not his fault, then asked the couple to get off and took the commuter waiting in the line instead.

Ms Tan was only reiterating what many others have lamented about Singaporeans' lack of social graces.

I shall put it bluntly: Don't be an ugly customer.

As customers, we are quick to complain about sub-standard service. But we do not realise that we sometimes contribute to the unpleasant experiences of other customers.

We may even put the service staff in an unenviable position of having to necessarily favour one party and offending the other.

Sadly, the ugly customer is almost ubiquitous in our daily lives.

Once, while waiting in line along with several others at a bank, we had to listen to a woman's frivolous indulgence. After the transaction, she rambled on about her exhilarating experience at a new restaurant.

While service staff should not allow chatty customers to monopolise their time in such a situation, some may find this difficult for fear of appearing unfriendly.

That's when the customer becomes ugly, as when an overstaying guest taxes a host's hospitality. We should know when to disengage ourselves.

Two weeks ago, I wrote about ugly customers who messed up a table at hawker centres without consideration for those who will use it after them ("Value for money", March 29).

A friend of mine finds certain parents to be even uglier customers: They do nothing to stop their children from running about in restaurants as if they were in some playground.

It comes down to that cardinal rule of doing (or not doing) unto others what you would others do (or not do) unto you. When we exercise consideration for others, everyone benefits from a more congenial environment.

Such ugliness surround me daily, especially waiting for a taxi on the road side. Some are so bold that they will walk a few step ahead of you. Unbelievable.

You want to see ugly customer? Just head down to a hypermarket on a weekend. Plenty there. A sure way to push your blood pressure up the roof.

So here is the question? For a country who is in the 1st world with tons of world class xxx, being 1st in almost everything, what happened to the people? Didn't they advance together with the country? Why are they left behind? A friend commented that graciousness may not surface until our great, great grandchildren's generation? That's in another 100 year? I will definately not be here to witness it. Graciousness, civility will definately not happen in my lifetime. All I can do is do my part. Afterall, I can't do anything about them. So I make sure me, my man and my junior behave ourselves and not let other call us ungracious.

Personally, I find that it's the group that's neither here (Rich Group) nor there (Poor Group), that's the most pompous, arrogrant, demanding and show off.

Bye Bye DoDo

June 1, 1993 - April 11, 2007
7pm
Melbourne
RIP Dodo

I have to let you go.
I have to be cruel to be kind to you.
You have been in my life for the past 14 years.
We slept together,
We ate together,
We play together,
But it's time for you to leave.
I will have you in my hearts forever.
You will always be with me in my soul.

I will never get another dog to replace you or BeBe.
Say hi to Bebe for me when you see her tonight.

RIP Dodo...

P.S. One day I may have the courage to put both your pix here. I don't know when. But not now.

A Parting Prayer

Dear Lord, please open your gates
and call St. Francis to come escort this beloved companion
across the Rainbow Bridge.

Assign her to a place of honor,
for she has been a faithful servant
and has always done her best to please me.

Bless the hands that send her to you,
for they are doing so in love and compassion,
freeing her from pain and suffering.

Grant me the strength not to dwell on my loss.
Help me remember the details of her life
with the love she has shown me.
And grant me the courage to honor her
by sharing those memories with others.

Let her remember me as well
and let her know that I will always love her.
And when it's my time to pass over into your paradise,
please allow her to accompany those
who will bring me home.

Thank you, Lord,
for the gift of her companionship
and for the time we've had together.

And thank you, Lord,
for granting me the strength
to give her to you now.

Amen.

- © Brandy Duckworth, 1998

Note: DoDo is my 13 years old Pomeranian and BeBe was my 12 years old Poodle. Bebe died last October unexpectedly due to tumor in the late which we discovered too late. DoDo who is BeBe's mother is 6 months older. She is getting too old, blind in one eye and limbing. Just got news from my brother (my 2 dogs stayed with my brother in Melbourne) that the Vet is going to put her down tonight. Sob...Sob...Sigh... I need a hug.

This is for BeBe and DoDo. This sound always give me peace. By Leann Rimes.

Amazing Grace Lyrics

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught...
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.

When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

Why Modern Women Are Unhappy

I was going through my library of books (the usual rearranging and dusting) and came across 2 books on Mars and Venus by John Gray. Flipping through the page, I saw this little snippet. Why Modern Women Are Unhappy. He said:

Modern women are overworked, overstressed, and commonly feel unsupported and overwhelmed with good reason: at no other time in history has so much been expected of them. At least five days a week, they put on a uniform and march into an eight-to twelve-hour battle. When they come home, they feel the need to clean house, make dinner, do laundry, love and nurture the kids, and also be pleasing and happy as well as romantically receptive to their mates. it's just too much to ask of themselves, and it's making them feel split inside.

At work, women are required to behave according to the traditional masculine rules of conduct. At home, they have to switch to being warm, giving, and feminine. It's no wonder women complain that they need a wife to greet them with love and tenderness at the end of the day.

Even a contemporary stay-home mother has a more difficult job than her own own did because, with most other mothers at work and her kids' playmate at day care, she lacks the traditional company and support of other women.

In the past, a woman was proud to say that she was a full-time wife and mother. Now she may even feel embarrassed when asked, "What do you do?" Isolated from the support of other women, she must go it alone, as the value of her commitment is largely unacknowledged by the world.

Still, while women now need more support than at any other time in history, men also miss the ego boost they traditionally received from their mates.

So what makes a woman happy? This is what he said:

Years ago, when most women were full-time homemakers, a woman enjoyed the support of other women throughout the day. She could break up her tasks and relax by talking while giving and receiving in the spirit of cooperation, not competition. She had the luxury of unstructured time to create beauty in her home, garden, and community. She cared for others and they cared for her.

This daily routine was conducive to nurturing her feminine spirit and the love in her heart. her caring relationships gave meaning to her existence and supported her through life's inevitable crises.

Women were not expected to shoulder the double burden of nurturing relationships and providing for the family. Men were happy to provide, and able to be sole providers, leaving their partners free to perform their tasks while creating and sustaining loving relationships. In the competitive and hard-driving male-dominated workforce of today, this emphasis on relationships is greatly missing, and for the first time in history women are being forced to do without the support of being in a nurturing and feminine environment.

Maybe I an the exception.
Maybe my last job scared me so badly that I don't mind being the kept woman at home being supported by my hubby.
Maybe the stress of my last job has not wore off.
Maybe I am allergic to work. LOL.

I enjoy staying at home. I still can't believe that I have the privilege to just stay at home and do my favorite thing (playing neopets), read my books, take care of the little one, do my duty as a homemaker - cook, clean. This make me a happy woman.

I don't crave for the power to run an office.
I don't envy women with high paying jobs.
I don't particularly like to be on top all the time.

But this doesn't mean I don't have a mind of my own. Although I don't bring home the bacon, but my hubby respect me to make all decision with me. In fact, 90% of the time, I make all the final decisions.

I do agree "Modern women are overworked, overstressed, and commonly feel unsupported and overwhelmed with good reason: at no other time in history has so much been expected of them". So what does modern woman has to do to be happy? I guess it's up to individual. Once can't have the cake and eat it too. You take some, you give some. So happiness is all up to yourself.

Source: Mars and Venus, Together Forever. John Gray, Ph.D

Whose Head is that?

I love to look at the back of someone's head.
Imagination will run wild in my head.
I never look at the face.
Reality is never pretty.


This person sat in front of me in a bus one morning.
I wonder what he looks like.
His voice is nice.
He is muscular.
But I never get to see his face.