Mother

M - O - T - H - E - R
"M" is for the million things she gave me,
"O" means only that she's growing old,
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,
"H" is for her heart of purest gold;
"E" is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
"R" means right, and right she'll always be,
Put them all together, they spell
"MOTHER,"
A word that means the world to me.

Howard Johnson (c. 1915)

Mum or mummy, mom or mommy, mam or mammy, mama and ma.
Maman in French, or mamma in Italian.
Amma or oma or ammi in south Asian cultures.

Whatever you call it, a mother is someone whose love goes beyond the skies. A mother is someone who will always have love for you, even when you set the carpet on fire. A mother is someone who will always support you when you need it. She will always protect you, guide you, forgive you. Some say God could not be everywhere, therefore he made mothers.

Is this the type of mother you have or you are?

I have a mother like that. Impartial to everyone of us. She treats and love us equally. That's why the 4 of us get along with each other so well and we are so close to each other. We are indeed very blessed to have a mother like her.


However, I have known some pretty out-of-this-world mothers.

No mother's love
I have seen people who did not ever get the love they needed from their mother.

My friend's A's mothers are still living but they have little or no dealings with one another. In fact, she quickly got married and moved as far away from her mother as possible. Even to the next state. And guess what is the reason? Because the mother is a person who favor boy to girl. [重男轻女] Think that girl is useless because utimately she will married into another family and become a member of her husband's family. Gosh!!! Is she living in Qing Dynasty?

But she is not the only mother like that. I have another secondary school friend, J. J's mother loves both her and her brother. However, hated her younger sister. Her hatred is so obvious that you would wonder if the child is not hers. If this sister wants to do anything, she has to make sure either J or her brother will participate or else there is no way she will be able to do it.

Example. She wanted to go to United States to study after 'O' level. The mother say NO! So she tried to get J, who was going to sit for her 'A' level to go. But she had to wait a year for J to finish her 'A' level. Once she reached USA, she is gone. Left home and never came back.



'Job finished after giving birth' Mother
Any woman can be a mother but it takes someone special to be called "Mom". Why do I say that? A relative is a perfect example. Let's call her Jane. Jane has 2 sons, 8 and 2. But she has never been a mom before. She was only the woman who carry her babies for 9 months, gave birth by ceasaran. Her job is done. Then the mother-in-law took over. She has never change a single diaper. Never made a bottle of milk. Never bath her babies. Never had to night feed. Never had to take care of her son's school work. Never had to do anything a mother had to do.

When her son went to the kindy, the teachers had never saw the mother before. One day, she had to go and pick up her son and the teacher refused to release the son to her because they don't know her.

But she was there. Playing with her babies and leave at the end of the day. She doesn't stay with the in-law.

The most common fallacy among women is that they believe that by having children it makes them a mother. This is as absurd as believing that having a piano makes one a musician.



'Give me! Give me!' Mother
Then there is another type of mother. Once the children are grown up, have a job, she starts to bleed her children dry.

She demands this and that. She expected to be paid for everything. Paid to help babysit the grandkids. All expenses paid annual holiday. Monthly allowance. Money, money, money. All she thinks about is $$$!!! She doesn't care that her children has family and commitment of their own. She only cares ME! ME! ME! She doesn't care that her selfishness is causing problem between her children and their spouses. And all this while she has $$$ hidden away somewhere. She is not some moneyless, jobless person. Doesn't she knows that money is not be-all and end-all?

I have personally seen a mother who ask her hungry child to eat later (the host ran out of food and waiting for a second round of food to be served in a buffet) because she herself is hungry and wants to eat first. Speechless? I always thought a mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. That's what I will do. Doesn't all mother?

That's all I can think of now. Too depressing. May continue to share weird mother of this world some other time.

I believe that being a mother is a life-long process. In fact, I’m not even half-way through it. But the best that I can do is to be committed in doing a good job as a mother. And I hope my relationship with my child will be like one that I have with my mother. Respect, admiration, loving and best of all a friend.