Why I didn't tell you I am married.

"All that time, I've had to live with the images of him smiling at you, touching you, sharing jokes with you, brushing his teeth while you're in the bath, eating breakfast with you, going to the movies with you, laughing with you, fighting with you and worst of all, in bed with you ... nothing but torture. Constant torture. How would you have liked imagining me doing all those things? ... I want to save you that, can't you understand? I want to be a single person in your mind. I just wanted to have a universe I could go into that had nothing but you in it. No on else. And I did. Whenever I thought of you, I knew you were thinking of me all by myself, just working and writings."

This is an excuse given from a married man to a married woman who were having an affair.

Okay, this isn't a real life scenario. It's from a book I am reading now "Made in Heaven". But I am sure some men do use this excuse or else how will the author write something like this?

I sometimes wonder how do they (man or woman) come up with excuses, lie, stories to cover up their double life? How can a married woman goes out have sex with her lover and come home and act normal with her husband and have sex with him too. Can their heart be compartmented into different departments? This part is for husband, this section is for the children, and this little portion is for my secret lover. Wouldn't life be too complicated?

I have read so many real life venting of how the spouse are having affairs. There is even a mother to confess that she is having an affair with her colleague and she doesn't want to end it but is afraid her husband will find out. They have their rendezvous during lunch or before she goes home. Where is the "till death do us part"? What happened to being faithful? Is marriage just something that can be cancel with a click of a button? Is divorce so easily accepted now? What is happening to us - the human being? What happened to longevity?

What is good about an affair? Well, when you have an affair, that relationship doesn't carry any burden. All affair involves sex. And so maybe because the sex is good because forbidden fruit taste so much sweeter. It's more adventurous because you have to put in extra effort to be together. The danger of being found out make the sex much better? The time you spent together is short and thus sweet because you don't waste the time quarreling.

But will affair last? Will a mistress be contented to be a mistress forever? Leaving those mistress that are only out to suck the man dry aside, how long will a mistress be a mistress that won't make any demand? My friend's parents was a perfect example where mistress would also want to be the wife. My friend's mother came to Singapore to take care of her and her siblings while her father stayed in Malaysia to run the business and visit once a month. Few years later, we found out that her father's secretary has become his mistress. Things were left as it is because nobody wants to face the truth. Soon children were borne. The secretary was being really humble saying she doesn't mind being the mistress. She didn't make any demand for divorce. But as the children grew up and ready for school, she discovered it's going to be a problem. She began to make demands and soon my friend's father relented and file for divorce with his wife of 30 years and married the mistress.